Inexplicable. Impenetrable.

I will never forget the night that we lived inside forever
Where confusion reigned, and the endless hours extended into eternity
You were meant to be just like the rest of them
You were meant to be vapid and empty and cold,
But all I could find in you was truth
It was meant to be easy
Wet meat devoured like prey
Quick and painless
Messy, but satisfying
We sat and watched the moon until it consumed the earth
It was so close we could reach out and touch it
And the silver light reflected on our broken smiles
The bruises shine clearer in the iridescent moonlight
As, the silver pierces our skin, and runs in our bloodstream
You were meant to heal the wounds and cover up the scars,
Distract me from the pervasive darkness for a time
A tumult of chaos lives within us,
We are a lego car crash
We are a silent implosion
Drunken nights and broken fingers,
Screaming at each other in the rain
Punching in taxi queues
Vomiting in the streets,
Bleeding in silence
Drinking rampantly in the daytime,
Smashed TV screens and anti-depressants
Falling into each other, deeper still.
So many florid words that could be shared
So many slithering nights spent cavorting in ecstasy
Partially formed philosophies hanging dead from the ceiling
Stagnant, cliched and false,
Made of tired old words
Half finished sentences are works of art, unfinished
Glittering in the darkness,
Our words are bound to one another
She says to meet her at Montauk,
He says that he doesn’t know the way
He is lost in a deep chasm of unenforced solitude, his regrets whisper sweet nothings,

He is desperately scrabbling against the soaking wet rocks
The moon smiles at us through the window
It parts the hard, crystalline heavens, for us
The stars are nothing, but fake twinkling fairy lights
The moon a chain smoking, lecherous magician dressed in a cheap spangly cloak
It is dangerously close,
It threatens to crush us
Unspoken, unspeakable desires flood my mind as I sit there next to you
Bodies cry out for contact
Soft lips, left unsatisfied
Exchanging intensely charged glances
Sighs, of disappointment permeate the air
Finger nails cracked and broken from clawing at the walls
We share the pain and we cradle it close,
We sit next to it and stroke it between us
It purrs with glee as it knows it has become a demon
I know that I can save you
I know that I can take away the pain
My greatest fear is that we will inflict it on each other
Explosive sentiments echo in our heads
The images on the screen flash and imitate real life
I could be your everything and I could make the wrong things seem right
I kiss away your wounds,
They are the only thing that is real,
We carry scars and they make us sure that we are alive.
You weep gently and pretend not to feel anything,
Tears fresh and gleaming.

But,
I can see through you
We are numb and vacant, as we live inside a lie
Actions untaken haunt even the strongest of us
Formality becomes regret and reluctance becomes a chore
I never thought I’d find a blinding light,
When I was looking for a whore.
And even now, as I lie awake staring at the ceiling,
I feel myself craving more.

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